Death is frightening. Some choose to ignore this, and to them death is amusing. It is not clear what the right attitude about death would be, for no one alive has the authority and insight to talk about it.
I could only think of what someone told me about death before they died, and assume that their attitude didn't change after the transition. When you think of the dead as just being somewhere far away and not contactable, it really isn't so bad. It just isn't talked about. And after so many years of denying, it starts to feel like truth. No matter how many cryptic messages I write about it, looking straight at it is something I never did or felt the need to.
And then there's you. If I see you again one day, what will I say? "I'm sorry that this is the experience that bonds us"? In some alternate universe, we would be best friends walking alongside someone who is not dead. In this universe, though, we are friends in silence. If someday we find ourselves occupying the same space again, we will be standing together in silence.
It's been a while since we last met, and it's been a while since I last thought of you. Even though we don't interact and have no desire to, I still follow your activities online. It's almost a habit now. I don't know whether you do the same thing for me or not, but if you're reading this, this is what I want to say: my friendship with you is very unique and special. It is a friendship I value greatly and I think you do too; happiness is just not a part of it.
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